Monday, December 9, 2013

Funny sayings to brighten your Monday


  •  By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates

  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

  •    My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.   - Jimmy Durante  

  •   I have never  hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

  • Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine

  • My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.   - Rodney Dangerfield

  •    Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.   - Spike Milligan

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